Beginning the next adventure

So I made an appointment to go see my local gym tonight. At long last, I am doing this!

Need this if i am to reach my mini-goal by christmas (lose 16 kg – 35 pounds).

Because then – i would be below 100kg! The lightest I’ve been since high school 12 years ago!

Yay me!

Bit scared though, what if I fail like all the times before? A gym reeks of failure to me. Hope I can change it around this time.

Christmas goal

Friends! I just had an epiphany.

I am almost five months post-op. Today is the start of spring. A very long and cold and wet winter is behind me. And from today I am kicking up a gear!

Going to join a gym ASAP come Monday. Enough of this lazying around. The time has come for me to honestly make the most of this precious tool I have received.

I have lost 75 pounds (34 kg) since my highest weight. My goal is to be under a 100 kilos (under 220 pounds) by Christmas. That will be my gift to myself. I am 257 pounds (117 kg) now.

You think a loss of 37 pounds (17 kgs) is possible by Christmas? Little less than four months. Theoretically it should be. But my weightloss has creeped to a very slow loss. Perhaps my lack of exercise, but also my menu choices. I am struggling deciding what to eat and being an active participant in what i get in. I am sure i dont get in nearly enough protein.

I know I am just probably lazy to make the effort. But I do feel overwhelmed quite easily, so I try and not berate myself so often.

Any tips? What is your go to menu plan for a given day? Something tried and true? I dont take shakes at all as they tend to make my feel nauseous (I am lactose intolerant). Even if i make them with water – it still has the consistence of something milky and I struggle to get it down!

Hope to hear some good tips to get to my goal by Christmas! Anyone joining me???

4 months post op

Oh man! Life is running away with me!

So what is up at 4 months post op for Obeasta?

I have lost 34 kg (75 pounds) so far.

My exercise is not nearly what it should be (non-existent) but I am working on it. Going to join a gym.

My hair is falling out ;-(

I have a lot of hair, so it is not a train smash.

What is much worse is that i have terrible adult acne! Started getting bad about a month ago. Really bad. At my wits’ end as what to do about this.

Anyone else had this problem?

Feeling so good otherwise! Much more healthy and no big eating struggles any more. Eating quite little and sometimes i really miss having a big hearty meal.

I was much more of an emotional eater than i have ever imagined.

But i am getting through this easily enough.

Sometimes i can get really down, but i think it has more to do with my work situation where i am extremely unhappy.

Anyhoo, that is me 😉

what a feeling.

 

oh wow, what a feeling!

 

So this past weekend, I went to the shops. Clothing shops. I got my salary and I was taking mum out to the shops, just so that she can get out a bit as well, you know.

We see this shop and SPECIAL winking at us and we thought hey, let’s go have a look.

And then a strange thing started happening. I was looking at sizes, to fit me, and I didn’t look automatically for the biggest size on the rack.  Nope.

 

Then off to the fitting room. Me and mum next to each other (for the record, she is a tiny little thing, no weight issues there).

And then I saw it, as I took one of the dresses off the hanger. It is a size 16. Dumb idiot, I thought to myself, how did you look?? Grabbed the wrong one!  Last time I was in the clothing shops I was struggling to find anything in a 26.  Where the hell you’re coming from with this 16, goddammit.

But I was standing there, naked, and the dress (the SIZE 16 DRESS) in my hand and I thought, what the hell, just pull it out over your head and see the disaster for yourself.

And then.

The revelation.

IT FIT!  I FIT INTO A SIZE 16!

how does it feel????

 

IT FEELS FUCKING AWESOME, IS HOW IT FEELS!

I showed my mum. and then I started crying. Like an old hag. In front of the mirror. From all sides. And my mum, my tiny skinny mum, just gave me a big hug.

So that was my first happy day in a clothing shop.

Victories 1

Victory 1 – I can take a nice hot bath! Before the op I couldn’t fit into our bath. How sad is that?

Victory 2 – I am not falling asleep at work anymore! In fact, I have quite some energy and tend to be quite upbeat. That’s new.

Victory 3 – fitting into some clothes that did not fit. At all.

Victory 4 – When we went on holiday 2 weeks ago, I walked for an hour (through a forest) – and then I walked up a mountain! All fairness, it was pretty much a hill. But that damn thing felt like a mountain. And I did it! I did it all! If you told me to do that before the op, I would’ve laughed a bit. And then cried a lot.

So on the eve of 3 months post op, things are looking good!

Renewed energy

I can really kick myself in the butt (if I could).

Why? Because I could’ve been further in my weight loss journey. Why? Cause I’ve been messing about, struggling day by day, worrying about what I should eat, and not managing to get in all my vitamins and such.

And what was the result? Me becoming a crazy person.

Yep, one big crying mess always feeling on edge. And sometimes snapping at my loved ones.

So you know what happened last night? My awesome boyfriend said “I am here to help”. And that is what he did.

He dried off my tears and truly let me know I don’t have to do this alone. Cause it is tough, man.

So what did we do?

* worked out a full menu for the week. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. For every day. With variety.
* made a shopping list for exactly what we need for these meals this week.
* worked out a daily schedule for when to take my vits, iron and calcium, all worked around my mealtimes.

Result?

One happy obeast!

Feeling on control and I am content! So whenever you feel the crazy coming on, stop for a moment and check whether all tour ducks are in a row for the week. If they are not, do it immediately, and I promise solemnly that you will feel brand spanking now.

Now why the hell did I not start doing this earlier??

The Others

I call them. The other people. Their thoughts and notions. And should you tell them?

For myself I decided that me having this op is not something I am going to hide. I am proud of myself taking charge of my life. Doing the bravest thing I’ve ever done, for my future children and my family and my guy and mostly, surely, for me.

It is a huge step having weightloss surgery and it affects one’s whole life. Every aspect. Why should I hide it?

On the internet I’ve read at various places how negatively The Others responded to an individual “coming out”.

And I find that very curious. I mainly read American websites and blogs and I have been wondering whether this was a cultural thing.

Because you know what I have found, here in my country South Africa? That each and every person I have told, have been EXTREMELY supportive and kind. All of them are interested to hear more and ask questions as to what it is exactly.

And they are all happy for me. And think that I am brave, of compliment me on it.

They are not looking begrudgingly at me. They are not jealous or mean-spirited in any way.

People actually phone me and send little messages of encouragement and just checking in to check up on me and how I am doing.

And the most precious thing of all, they all understand that it is indeed NOT the easy way out. That it is incredibly hard.

So I have to say I find it so sad to read of people getting negative reactions. Why can’t people have the sun shine over another? Why not take the time to ask questions if you know you know nothing about something, and rather ask what it is about, than to just have to put your opinion on something – you don’t know anything about in any case!

bleddie fools.

Good luck to all out there who don’t have the support of their loved ones, their friends and family, and colleagues!