The Others

I call them. The other people. Their thoughts and notions. And should you tell them?

For myself I decided that me having this op is not something I am going to hide. I am proud of myself taking charge of my life. Doing the bravest thing I’ve ever done, for my future children and my family and my guy and mostly, surely, for me.

It is a huge step having weightloss surgery and it affects one’s whole life. Every aspect. Why should I hide it?

On the internet I’ve read at various places how negatively The Others responded to an individual “coming out”.

And I find that very curious. I mainly read American websites and blogs and I have been wondering whether this was a cultural thing.

Because you know what I have found, here in my country South Africa? That each and every person I have told, have been EXTREMELY supportive and kind. All of them are interested to hear more and ask questions as to what it is exactly.

And they are all happy for me. And think that I am brave, of compliment me on it.

They are not looking begrudgingly at me. They are not jealous or mean-spirited in any way.

People actually phone me and send little messages of encouragement and just checking in to check up on me and how I am doing.

And the most precious thing of all, they all understand that it is indeed NOT the easy way out. That it is incredibly hard.

So I have to say I find it so sad to read of people getting negative reactions. Why can’t people have the sun shine over another? Why not take the time to ask questions if you know you know nothing about something, and rather ask what it is about, than to just have to put your opinion on something – you don’t know anything about in any case!

bleddie fools.

Good luck to all out there who don’t have the support of their loved ones, their friends and family, and colleagues!


3 thoughts on “The Others

  1. For some reason Americans seem to belittle others who make this choice for themselves. Luckily I have had the full support of my family and friends but know plenty of people who haven’t even shared that they are having surgery with the own family because they know that those people won’t be supportive.

  2. Hi there

    I really enjoyed reading your blog, never read one before. I could understand and connect with every word you said. I’m so overweight and having a number of health issues. Did your medical aid eventually pay your bills for every thing? Did you think it was all worthwhile? Joanne Kobben
    I would love to hear from you.

    • Hi Joanne

      Nice to hear from you!

      Thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot.

      My medical aid covered a good percentage of the costs. I am with Bonitas (standard plan).

      This op costs in the region of R130 000 I think. In the end I had to pay R35 000 for the surgeon and R10 000 for the anesthetist.

      I received about R12 000 back from medical aid for the surgeon and around R7000 for anesthetist’s account.

      So it cost me around R25 000. Which is honest to God the best money spent i have ever done in my life.

      Let me tell you this- where i am at now, if i had to pay for the whole thing myself with loans – i would do it. Without hesitation. Because my life is worth it.

      With my weight i was on a downward spiral and no matter how hard i tried, i could not get out of it. I couldnt. I did everything. And my weight just increased year by year. I was so unhealthy and so extremely unhappy. Within four months everything changed around for me.

      So what is my last thought? If you have tried everything and you cannot go on any longer with this life (crying in the shower like i did), then please look into it. If you’re in the Cape area, have a look at the website of the surgeons – they are brilliant, both dr swanepoel and dr potgieter. If you are up north i unfortunately dont have info, but sure google will come up with something.

      Take a loan. Money is money and what is it to live for a year on a very tight budget? For your life to change? It is totally worth it. It ia tough, i wont lie. But now I have life, actual life.

      And that is truly priceless and a blessing.

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